I'm fine ... am I?

Yes - that's me. I could be really hurt and crying my eyes out, but I will always say "I'm fine." How stupid is that?? Really stupid if you ask me, but I still do it ... and would be probably just fooling myself if I promise to you that I won't do this anymore. 

I guess this is just my way of dealing with bad things. And if you try to get to the bottom of this, try to find out what went wrong - I will eventually told you. But not immediately. Oh no! That just never happens and I think never ever will. I realize how frustrating this could be and maybe you could get a felling that I'm just messing with your head - but when I am in this "I'm fine" and "Nothings wrong" place, my head is pretty messed up too. Hope this comforts you just a little bit. ;) 

And don't you just hate that moment when you realize that what you've (finally) told sounded like such a big deal in your head and now that you are saying it out loud ... it just sounds like some dumb, unimportant thing?? Ohh, how much I hate that! You are holding a resentment about something, and then all of a sudden you realize "What was that?!" Yes I do admit - I can be pretty complicated person, but let's just say thats part of a charm. :))

But now that all of this is written down maybe things will change. Maybe you can teach "and old dog, new tricks." :) Who am I to oppose that? :)

I'm wishing you all the best and BE FINE until next time! :)) 

Manuela